A friend contacted me. She felt like an outcast – tossed aside. It made me think of a line from on my childhood songs – The Cheese Stands Alone – sometimes you have to be OK with that.
One person decided that she was not good enough and she was “excommunicated” so to speak. I comforted her as best as I could but I understood everything she felt. As sad as I found the whole situation, I recently found great comfort in all of it.
Let them talk.
One of her concerns was that the one person who found her “unworthy” would convince others of the same. Any favors that were bestowed upon her were pointed out, repeatedly – any graces or kindness given to her were thrown in her face. I found myself angry for her. I knew my friend and I knew better. She is beautiful and kind and has held secrets for me deeper than the deepest ocean. There were a couple days that filled me with great disgust but in those flared emotions, I found my comfort. I too have felt like an outcast and tossed aside. As I thought of my friend’s situation, I realised – we don’t need to worry about people who don’t know better. People who know better will not engage in any talk or behavior that belittles, outcasts or saddens you.
It doesn’t matter what is said about you or who chooses to believe it. It doesn’t matter who tries to tarnish your name, spill your secrets or tell the world what they did or didn’t do for you. My friend was given some favors and she was thankful and appreciative. I know because she told me and shared much of her journey with me. However, she was told she was ungrateful.
I know better.
She has been very kind to me and never told a soul about it. She’s never thrown it in my face or jump at the first opportunity to share it with others – “Did you know that when so and so needed this, I did that”. Not once. She doesn’t remind me but sometimes I remind her of her kindness. There have been many instances of kindness on her part but there is one instance that she jumped in for me in a way that showed great faith in my ability to pay her back and I did.
She hasn’t mentioned it to any one but I have. I have told several people but mostly to brag that I’m just blessed like that – haha that ego of mine. Or is it Sh-ego!
My friend knows what it is to be in a position to give and to need. I realise people who know better won’t care about another person’s opinion of you. People who know better won’t engage – they just simply won’t. They will stand up for you or they won’t listen at all. If they don’t or if their actions and behaviors change toward you, do not worry. Stand alone.
Be the damn cheese.
Take the path alone if you must – there are people who know better!
The important thing is that you know who you are and if you are content in knowing that you are a decent human being doing your best as you traverse this great life of yours, then stand alone! But, I write this to tell my friend – you are not alone. I am here!
Do not flicker your flame for the winds of “bad mind” as we say in Belize. Stand tall oh beautiful one. Know that those who know better WILL NOT ENGAGE. Those who know you will Nourish You Sweetly.
That girl right there has been my diamond in the rough many a day. I am not interested in that story you wish to tell. I already know her well.