Nourish Me Sweetly.
Almost a year and a half ago, I had another “Aha” Moment or is it “Aha Moment”… I wish Oprah would call me more often (yes, that’s right) and clarify these things for me. It would make writing so much easier.
Amidst all the change that had been finding us (my son and I) one of them was that we finally got our own place (yay!) Our own domain, close enough to everything and it was OURS. We were elated in so many ways, yet lonely in so many other ways. Grateful and Sad. How do the two coexist? I don’t know but that’s how it felt.
We had our own walls but no furniture. We had cardboard boxes as furniture and we often would debate over who should have which box. We were sent a blow up bed by one of our family (family doesn’t mean just blood relatives to me) and we were uber excited but even after the set up of the blow up bed, my son and I were most excited about the box it came in. It was perfect. A bed to sleep on AND a BOX! Exciting!!!
We had food and shelter and clothes (albeit tattered and torn in some cases) but again, they were ours. The lack of furniture would not last long. One day a stopped up toilet would lead me to meet some wonderful, fascinating and kind people who would become our main support system in what felt like a dark dark place and time. This would lead us to getting our whole “own place” completely furnished, so much so, that we had to turn some things away. There is no room at the Inn, Jill (my new core support/friend/family)
That aside, we were OK. We now had food, shelter, clothes AND furniture. Awesome!
One day I had some extra money and found myself missing my long acrylic nails terribly. I was treated to getting some a few months earlier, but could not keep it up… this day I decided I would. Getting my nails and toes done were somewhat of the ultimate pampering for me (besides brushing my hair and massages of course) Nails and toes always meant a treat. It meant I would feel beautiful and more girly and then this would merge with wanting to dress more nicely, work out more, eat more healthy to feel more girly and feel more beautiful and well done.
It occurred to me… having food, shelter and clothing are indeed very important but I remember this question rolling through my head at the time “But how does she feel?” All those things are necessities – not a wants or luxuries… and perhaps the person completely focused on gratitude alone would debate that it was enough or should be enough to make anyone FEEL GOOD. In my humble experience, it was not the end all of FEELINGS. It was appreciated. I was grateful.
But how did I feel?
I did not feel beautiful. I did not feel girly. I did not feel like getting dressed nicely with whatever I had.
Nails and Toes did that for me.
These moments and many after it have brought me to the word NOURISH and most especially recent months. I have found myself with that word many days bouncing around in my head. NOURISH. I want to be Nourished… Sweetly! I suppose I had found myself with people, places, things and events that did NOT Nourish Me Sweetly and it began a craving in me… to always, in every single way I could, “Nourish Me Sweetly!”
I wanted it to unfold in all ways… relationships (all types), food, movies, places, style and fashion, art, accessories … and back to people, places, things and events AND I want to Blog About It…
Therein, lies the name…
When you have found the right name for anything – anything at all – it merges with you. It sings with you. You are one with it. It feels complete and easy and matched. There are no second guesses and no what ifs. I knew my son’s name way before he was born. If we sit quietly enough about anything in our lives, the answers come… They come because they are already there and if we are quiet enough, we will hear it plainly.
What nourishes you sweetly?