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Ode to Chantry Flats

Ode to Chantry Flats

Ode to Chantry Flats

You will hear my wondrous roar in the waterfalls and know that it is me

You’ll feel my touch in the cold wind and watch it blow the leaves on every tree.

You will see my creative flow in the many shapes of every rock you touch

You’ll witness the intricacy of me in the flowers and wonder how I do so much

You’ll know I’m hearing you my love when you notice all your tears have ceased

You’ll understand that no matter what, I am always with you and in you I am well pleased.

God is the Greatest.

I Love You Too. Nourish Me Sweetly.

I Love You Too. Nourish Me Sweetly.

You taught me how to be without you
Til it was all I knew
One day I woke up
Nothing left to say
Nothing left to do

No more trying to show you
We should spend time like the other families do
Go to the park, sit by the poolside …
Share a laugh or two
Maybe you could text back some time I asked
Nah you said you didn’t know how to
It’s ok.
It’s alright.
I learned to live without that too.

As I reminisce on that time almost two decades ago
I see that I’ve come a long way
Still a lot for me to learn though
Slowly it’s coming to the surface of my life
The feminine spirit does not fight to be anyone’s wife.

She does not chase, does not convince, does not persuade you to love her well
She does not push, does not force, does not try to keep you cast you under her spell
She does not beg or plead or give all her precious power away
She simply is… in all her essence – the sun, the moon, the stars, the night, the day.
The ocean and the mountains and everything you see
Oh what a powerful essence, that feminine spirit in me.

I’m still learning
How to be softer, let things flow, connect fully to my soul
Relax…

Let life unfold.

I used to wish away my feminine spirit – please go away.
I don’t want to feel so much today.
Slowly I learn to celebrate her, loving all that she is
Oh my sweet feminine spirit, you are the “isness” to my is.

So complex – you’re why I experience all things so deeply.
“I love you”, I say to her
She responds, “I love you too my darling. Just remember, Nourish Me Sweetly.”

 

I’m Not Sleeping Alone In My Bed Tonight

I’m Not Sleeping Alone In My Bed Tonight

When you left I was broken
Chanting prayers in a closet where I’d made a shrine for the love of you
For the love of us. What?!

I didn’t even recognize who I had become
I really thought we were meant to be
Forever and a day – my boo and me.

At first, I could hardly find it in me to cry
I was taught to ‘man up’ since I was a child.
Working in my village, selling on the street side
Boy, do you even know who I am?
I was born to Survive.

But there I was, only a thread of who I knew myself to be
Left to process a mirage of memories
Your morning letters, flowers and countless words professing your love for me
Vows to God, sweet prayers and words to convince me and my family

LIES!

ALL. LIES!

You checked out and I felt like the empty room you left behind
A MESS – the room, the house, the yard. And Me.
Total. Disarray.
All I’d done for us but nothing was good enough to make you stay

My sheets rumbled, trash overflowing, towels on the ground, tears drops and food spills
My heart in shambles and my body a wreck
Apologizing, begging and pleading for you to reconsider me
What the!?!?!

I went into meek and mild
From strong independent woman to a desperate child

It took a long time for me to realize it was over.
You were not coming back
My house that was once filled with love was empty
Except for me and every hard and debilitating memory

Til that one one fine day I finally woke up

BUT

Not before I felt like I just couldn’t

Not before countless breakdowns

Not before I grasped at every straw to save what we had

And not before it hit me that there was nothing more that I could do

You were gone

We were through

This morning though…
The sunlight hit me through my window in the bathroom
And again in the kitchen
Like it was following me around to get my attention.

And I stood in their rays took them in like blessings from above
There was my home, getting filled with His love.

My home is mine again
Almost devoid of memories of you.
My yard is clean and my heart is fine.

My smile is back, my vibrance is bright.
And I’m not sleeping alone in my bed tonight.

 

by Jeannie Shaw

Netflix and Chill

Netflix and Chill

Netflix and Chill

I called you
I got voicemail
More than once I tried
Already knew what you’d say though
“Sorry boo, my battery died.”

I was hoping to talk to you
I’m always hoping for that
Just wanted to catch a vibe
Shoot the breeze, no real questions
But your battery died

Like it did that time
When I didn’t hear back
Countless hours had gone by
Really wanted to see you
But your battery died

And then again two nights ago
5 hours later I got a text back
Yep I was right
You would have gotten back to me
But your battery died

You thought I was sleeping
Nah, I was up and out
Doin the chill minus Netflix with that other guy
Telling him “All is well – we good.
His battery died.”
-Jeannie Shaw

I Love Being a Woman

I Love Being a Woman

I Love Being a Woman

I love being a woman…
My thoughts today as I put my make up on…

I love how my eyebrows frame my eyes
And how gorgeous they are when I do the “fill in” thing I learned on YouTube
Even though my cousin said it looks more like “YouTry”
She’s a riot I swear.
No Sister, Gurl, Cousin, Friend – I didn’t just try.
I got that shit right.
My eyebrows are lit!
Almost as lit as your beautiful being.

I love my hair
And the line of ancestors it took to get it to be how it is – wild and free.
OK. Fine.
Just wild!
I love that my eyes have been both a weakness and a nuisance to those who have loved me
But mostly I love that they are seemingly the portal to my soul.
That they can tell you a million stories if you only cared enough to explore.

I love that it takes me a minute to get ready…
OK! Fine!
An hour.
OK! Fine!
Sometimes more.

I enjoy adorning my temple with colors and fabrics that make me feel alive.
I love wearing knee high boots and high heels, especially with shorts…
Especially with very short shorts.
I love wearing jewelry, especially silver
I love getting my nails done and watching them type…
And how they line my curves when I take care of my body.
Oh Man! I love being a Wo-Man.

I love how my breasts accentuate my womanhood
I love how they feel pressed against the the very masculine energy of my man
I love that they can provide pleasure and comfort

I love the way my curves feel, even to me.
I love the way they sway when I hear my favorite Afrobeat(s) songs
And that they’ve lured men over to me even if just to say
– I love the way you dance
– I love the way you move
– I just wanted to tell you that you’re a beautiful woman.
And I love the way they fall into their curvy outline when I lay on my side.
And when I look down to see the hands of the man I love on my hips like they were made just for him…
NICE!
I got them from my momma. No Lie.

Oh Man!
I love being a woman.
In all my beautiful unravelled mess…
I love being a woman.
In all my beautiful amazingness.

I Have a Way with Words She Said

I Have a Way with Words She Said

I Have a Way with Words She Said

I have a way with words she said…
I can take one liners and multiply them inside your head,
I add, subtract, divide them…
Turn them into horses and I ride them.
I play with fire when I use them.
Make them dance,
On broken glass,
I twist them,
And I turn them,
Sometimes I straight abuse them.
I burn them on my fire,
Make them freeze on ice,
Mix them in my chemistry,
And serve them in a slice.

I have a way with words she said…
Their value more than gold.
I’ve etched them in her memory,
I pray their substance feeds her soul.
I make them laugh,
I make them cry,
I turn ABCs…
Into a baby’s lullaby
I give them life when I write them.
Let them penetrate you when I recite them.
I can even make them sing!
Turn them into Hip Hop.
And I make my words Bling! Bling!

I have a way with words she said…
They’ve created movies in her mind,
Wrote her letters that made her smile,
Delivered her treasures she thought she’d never find,
She said they fed her imagination…
Lit her life with their illumination,
Said they give her energy,
Koz my words create such synergy.

I have a way with words she said…
But I wonder if she knew why,
It is her love, her trust, her faith in me,
That give them wings and make them fly!

I have a way with words she said…
You know? I think it might be true!
Koz the same look I used to get from her?
I’m getting now from you.

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